I received an email linking to a wonderful, first-person story about growing up with food allergies at FAAN http://www.foodallergy.org/page/creating-compromises Noah Fenn describes the dance between himself and his mother over eating safely at school and carrying his meds. A gently, cautionary tale on how easy it would be to become a helicopter mom, hovering over my child with food and medications.
I think about these issues, such as when is Harry old enough to carry his meds independently? Normally, when he gains a new skill or responsibility he learns the consequence of not doing it. If he leaves a bike in the rain it will get wet. But would I be willing to take that risk with carrying his meds, or going hungry when out with friends?
Noah describes feeling embarrassed in 4th grade as his mom escorted him to the classroom. Well that could mean either he should have started being responsible for his own food earlier, or maybe the timing was just right. Maybe the awareness of embarrassment of being identified as different from his peers and the courage to be able to discuss it with his Mom, was an indication that he was old enough to start taking the burden on.
More questions than answers at this point, but thank you Noah for the perspective.
Thanks for sharing this article! I, too, have had a similar experience growing up with a food allergy. I think that Noah's mom did what any concerned parent would do- the struggles and negotiations that mom and child went through are an important part of defining the parent-child relationship in terms of balancing responsibility. I remember being embarrassed as well when my parents would bring in special food and it took some time to let them know that I could handle it on my own. Thanks again for sharing.
ReplyDeletevery interesting perspective. it's hard for others to understand what my daughter went though. glad to see some healthy perspective.
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